30
Apr
2014
Apr
2014
100WC #30
categories: Writing
Everyday, I wonder about the streets, trying to find somewhere to sleep and get some food. Tonight, I ended up on the dusty bench. Now I need to find some food, I said to myself.
After a few hours I finally found a shop that had tons of food, I snuck into the shop, (hoping no one would see me) and crept up to the cupboard. I slowly opened it, hoping there was something I could have, and when I opened the cupboard door I found tons of money! I grabbed all the money and raced out of the shop as fast as I could, screaming with excitement!
Mrs. Peterson (Team 100WC)
May 3, 2014 at 5:47 pm (10 years ago)Olivia,
This cupboard was a gold mine for your desperate character. Your writing describes the situation well, from rags to riches. Well done!
Mrs. Peterson
TX, USA
jasminel5a
May 6, 2014 at 10:28 am (10 years ago)Great job Olivia. It is just what Mrs. Peterson said, from rags to riches. You are a amazing writer and I cant wait to here and read another one of your stories.
Caitlin
May 23, 2014 at 3:40 am (10 years ago)Whoa!
mirandar6
August 23, 2014 at 8:52 am (10 years ago)This is a brilliant piece of writing Olivia! I agree with Jasi and Mrs.Peterson rags to riches! Describing how the bench was dusty and crept up to the cupboard could grab anyones attention. I think next time you can use lots of powerful adjectives and maybe use a simile or metaphor! 🙂